Ministry can be a lonely place. If you've ever been there you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about those times that your only friends are the thoughts that hold you captive for hours on end. Can you relate? Even Bible college can't fully prepare you for all that you will encounter while your life is poured out like water. There have been times that the water of my life has hit the hot desert sand; immediately evaporating into the air never making a difference. Yet, there have been times that the water has helped to bring growth. I love the people who are the desert and I love the people who are the fertile soil but it isn't always easy to love.For the past two years I have poured my life out here in Kentucky.Without reservation, I opened up to love people that I never knew and to be loved by those same people. I would deceive you if I told you that love doesn't hurt. Take for Jesus for example; showing us His love while His body hung, bloody and beaten, on a cross. Love can hurt but at the same time be a beautiful thing.
It's true, I've been hurt by a few people that I've poured my everything out to; by the people that I love. What makes all of that even more difficult is that the hurt has to remain locked inside with more security than Fort Knox can boast. Do you understand how ministry can be a lonely place? It seems like showing any sort of emotion as a minister concerning hurt is frowned upon. Are we not human? Do we not feel? Can we express disappointment and pain when we've been wounded? I apologize; my name isn't Fort Knox and it never will be. Punch me and I'll bleed. Say hurtful things about me and I'll emotionally break.
I know that in ministry I will never experience all the suffering that Jesus did. I am comforted by the fact that He is with me and that He has sent me precious friends to hold me when I am weak; to intercede and intervene. I am sustained by Jesus and those few that are Godsends. Ministry can be a lonely place, but it doesn't have to be. I can't tell you how valuable it has been for me to have the support of friends that will listen to the hurts and wrap tourniquets around my heart to stop the bleeding. It is because of Jesus, and those He has sent to love me, that time has never had a chance to heal the wounds in my heart. After all, who needs time to heal when you have the Healer Himself?
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